Sadness, the Antisquee

One of my favorite blogs, Angry Black Cat, is down right now for some reason or another. I hope it comes back soon because are always insightful posts on that site and I think the podcast is wonderful. One of the points is that it's written by a black woman married to a white man. For some of you reading, that may not seem like such a big deal and for others of you reading, it seems like a huge deal. The point of its existence is that it's just about love. Period. That's the main point. People don't understand that if you keep an open mind, or even if you're not keeping an open mind, you can fall in love with anyone. It's amazing how your mind can ignore conscious choices that you make.

One of the reasons in particular that I like ABC's and JeffG's blog is that they don't spend time talking about the condition of the black man and how he as a collective group has wronged the black woman. Instead of talking about what's not there, they talk about what they have and about how falling in love was something welcome and unexpected. Seeing and listening to their experiences and viewpoints as well as the viewpoints of others expands my thinking. If they ever read this, I would just like to say thanks for sharing.

My creativity makes me crazy

I'm rambling today. Read at your own risk.

No, really, it does. I haven't been posting so much in the past few months (ok so nearly a year) because I have no life. I'm at least half time if not full time on everything, but it's ok for the most part because I can handle it.... I think. I'm pretty happy with the way things are going right now except for the people in my life who get angry at any perceived slight. There is a difference between what they think they hear and what they actually hear. It's sad really, because when people get angry at the drop of a hat before clarifying what they think they heard, I think they must really be miserable in their own lives and need to find control any way they can. It's a game I refuse to play. There are some people who want to make me angry so they feel like they're truly powerful. I choose stoicism instead because getting angry isn't productive and it doesn't do anything for me. I can even ignore the passive aggression that people throw at me because again, the truth is that they want me to respond and frankly I don't feel like it, but I need to get off this because that is not the point of my post. Sometimes I just need to rant.

I consider myself a highly creative person and sometimes all this creativity brings me to a standstill when it comes to my writing. I think I have about fifteen stories in my head and I think at least seven of those are good, but the problem is where do I start? Do I start with the one I started in high school (which was a little while ago). Do I start with my epic adventure? Do I start with this new idea which isn't even the genre I write in most of the time for kicks and giggles? It's making me crazy. I think that what I'm going to do is I'm going to pick one and push through all my blocks when I have them. The goal is to write something every day though my ideas come at times that are highly inappropriate such as when I'm teaching class or when I'm going to class.

I think that sometimes I hate writing as much as I want to do it and other times I love it. I hate writing when I can't do it. I hate it when I can't do it at those inappropriate times and I hate it when I'm blocked. I love it when I have free time (which is difficult to find when I'm working full time, going to school half time and dedicating at least an hour a day to going to the gym)
and I love it when the words come from the tips of my fingers like water.

Having so many unfinished products makes me feel like the Flatliner Flip Flippen's inventory says I am. I just wish I could stick to one story at a time without going out of my mind.